Some think holding on is best, when in reality, letting go might be what’s needed so you both can be with someone truly meant for, and for them. You’ll never find your better half if you first don’t let go.
It doesn’t matter how long you’ve been dating because if you are miserable in a relationship, why torment yourself? Life is too short. Fill your days with love, happiness, smiles and good times!
Why suffer emotional B.S. for the benefit of someone else? It’s not fair to either of you. Leave. Make yourself available for someone who might make you happier and love you the way you deserve to be loved in return.
Maybe you have memories of a former lover you’d like to reconnect with? Don’t give up. It’s never too late to fall in love the second time around. (You know how the song goes.) Love knows no boundaries. Love knows no rules, but regarding love, I do have just one rule, “If the relationship doesn’t provide you both with joy and intimate satisfaction, then you might have a problem!” It doesn’t mean that things are hopeless, but it might identify that there may be things you can work on together.
Relationships can be very successful when you carefully choose the right mate, give him/her your very best in every area of the relationship and show that you care and keep smiling so he/she feels it.
If the other person doesn’t give back in the way you need him/her to or your problems result in arguments, disruptions, bring you down, then it may be time to move on. If you don’t make a conscious decision to make things better, then you’re wasting time and that’s B.S. You (both) deserve better!
This applies to couples that are dating, engaged, even married! If you’re attached to someone you don’t love any more and/or you are attracted to someone else, then face facts and the music and go for it! But, do it right. Remember, life is short! At the end of the day, you answer to yourself and your own conscience. If you don’t take care of you, you just might go through life unfulfilled. We are responsible for our own happiness. No else is.
Now, if you fear leaving someone because of the pain you might feel or cause another, listen, no matter what you decide, you’ll feel angst (if you’re human) so it’s better to experience the bad stuff in the “short-term” versus the “long-term.”
SHORT TERM PAIN – “Oh, my friends and family will be so upset and disappointed in me if I leave … My (love interest) will be so devastated … I don’t want to hurt him/her, but what about me? I’m just not happy in this relationship. I’m suffocating, emotionally. I’m not getting what I need! What do I do?” It’s simple. After careful assessment of your personal happiness score, your history with the person and some perspective on the future, look at your options (and consequences) for whether you stay or go. If your reasons are logically justified to leave (i.e., abuse, crying, pain, emotional trauma, emotional heartache, etc.), jump ship without hesitation. Life is short and you deserve better.
- Make strategic plans for your departure; state your feelings openly and honestly (you have rights). “I’m not happy in this relationship and I need to get out.” Evaluate your emotions to help you decide what’s in your best interest. Go with the logical approach. Listen to your heart and look for a logic-tempered emotional response. That’s your answer.
- Here is an easy exercise to make my case. Repeat after me: “I’m hungry – let’s eat.” “I’m tired – time for bed.” “I’m not happy in this relationship — I need to move on.” Direct and to the point.
- Over time, people move on with their lives. Vacancies get filled, and short memories fade away. That’s the short-term pain of leaving a relationship if it’s justifiable emotionally and logically.
LONG TERM PAIN – “I don’t want to upset my family and friends or deal with their disappoint in me, so, I’ll stay in this relationship no matter what.” This is a losing battle. In time, you just might regret all the months/years/decades you wasted on “just surviving” in an unfulfilled relationship. You’ll lose years of potentially being loved by someone else that truly understands you and meets your needs. You lose big time if you stay in a relationship to make others happy. That’s called relationship B.S.
- You owe no one any favors. If you are taking care of yourself, paying your own way, you owe nothing to no one, and don’t let anyone influence your decisions for doing what’s right for you. Guard your heart, but use your head.
- Now, if children are involved in your relationship, tread slowly. Children need both parents as much as possible, however, if you are unable to stay together as a couple, proceed with caution.
- Children are going to get hurt — but how and for how long depends on you and your partner. So do the best you can to have a positive ending. Your emotions will definitely impact their stress levels. You can count on it. No child should be exposed to verbal, emotional, mental or physical abuse. It’s B.S. and no excuses. At all costs, the child should not be left in the care of the abuser.
Remember, there are two ways to show someone you care: love and abstinence. If you love them, and yet they’re causing you harm, then abstain from their presence. Get out. Your absence may be just what the person needs to sober up or and
“IF you don’t have my books yet, or the audio version of them to soak in all this knowledge into your life, then you’re missing out on A LOT! You owe it to yourself to acquire this knowledge! I know I wouldn't live my life without it, and neither should you! Contact me if you have any questions about my books/audio.” — Bart Smith, Author
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