So far, we’ve talked a lot about how to deal with people and their B.S. With every response, action, phrase, comeback, reply you could ever return to someone committing any form of B.S. on you, the best way to deal with some people and their problems is with passive behavior. In other words, don’t buy into it until they can express themselves in a civil tone, openly and honestly. Sometimes, a little “silent treatment” is the best medicine for what ails them in your direction with their B.S. No one likes to be in the dog house, but sometimes maintaining silence is a better solution to bickering and nail biting. No contact whatsoever is what you both may require. No phone calls, no eMail replies, no text replies, no answering the door when they come a knockin’. Nothing. SILENCE!
Your silence communicates that you don’t approve of how they’re treating you. In this way, they have nothing to hold against you. You didn’t raise your voice or your hand. You didn’t throw things or destroy property. You were calm, quiet, and listened to their B.S., which might seem like more courtesy than they deserve. I have received some whacked out eMails from a couple family members (everyone has them). My conscience said, “Do not reply! Let them have the last word and then you won’t have to deal with them anymore. Their memory of you will be SILENCE. Which is EXACTLY what I want them to remember. Your memory of them will be PEACE.
You see, it’s in that quiet time, alone at night, in the dark, when their heads hit the pillows, they’ll replay what they said to you and all they can come up with was your reaction, which was silence. They might start thinking about the tone of their communication. Was it too harsh? Insensitive? Justified? Accurate? Let them stew. You’re not interested in their second thoughts unless it comes in the form of a sincere apology. The burden is on them.
It may take weeks, months, even years, for these people to GET IT! You don’t tolerate B.S. from people any more, no matter WHO it comes from. None, nada, NEVER! Again, you’re not paid to be their therapist, and in some cases the best discipline or punishment for people is a (mental) prison sentence of complete absence from your life. If they want back in, they have to obey your rules.
The silent treatment is the best, non-violent, most effective way of teaching people how you expect to be treated and that you deserve it. Remember to use this tool; stand your ground; keep your cool; and essentially avoid all contact. Be certain that you have thought long and hard about things. Are you faultless? When they’re ready to make amends, you be the judge of their sincerity. If you see no alternative for reconciliation, let them know that they have broken the circle of trust and then try to put the situation behind you (physically and emotionally) and move forward. Time and separation are often the best healers of the heart and soul.
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- Silent Treatments, The Dog House & Other Intellectual Punishments - October 31, 2015
- Outcast? Banished by Friends or Family? - October 31, 2015
- Looking For That Special Someone? - October 31, 2015
- Loneliness - October 31, 2015
- Invoice People (& Companies) Who Bug You, Seriously! - October 31, 2015
- How To Deal Tactfully & Creatively With Tele-Marketers & Solicitors Alike - October 31, 2015
- Friends, Best Friends & Soul Mates - October 31, 2015
- Mean, Nasty & Jealous Exes & Their B.S. - October 31, 2015
- Unhappy With The One You’re With? - October 31, 2015
- When Things Don’t Work Out - October 31, 2015
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