How To Win Them Back or Simply Forget About Their B.S.
What did you do to become an outcast or get banished from your family? Was it deserved? Unjustified? A mystery? Either way, being ousted by family isn’t all that bad. Think of it as a VACATION particularly if you were saturated with of their B.S. Consider yourself free of the melodrama and the anxiety of trying to fix an impossible situation. Enjoy some peace in your own life away from them for awhile.
On a serious note, if you do feel you’ve been banished by one or more of your (friends or) family members unjustly, then the only way to get back at them is not by begging to be let back in, or admitting to something you didn’t do (if that’s the case).
The only way to really get back into their lives is by showing them YOU are someone THEY should really be hanging out with and talking to. In other words, show them words and actions of what they’re missing. Make their lives feel semi-meaningless without you.
This is a time when you MUST reach deep inside you, and turn your PAIN into a PARTY for life and living YOURS. Occasionally, send or text them photos of you with friends (or other family members) and messages like, “Wish you were here. Hope you’re well.” Basically, don’t give them any reason to burden you with their B.S. Wish them well and keep moving in the opposite direction!
You know the drill by now, having read B.S. The Book, cover to cover. Don’t let anyone rain on your parade. Don’t let people bring you down. Only YOU can bring yourself down if you let others (encourage you to do so).
Some people just can’t help but to spew B.S. onto others with no regard for other people’s feelings. If they are THAT mean and miserable, they don’t need to be hanging out with you. Take them off of the family reunion invites where they typically go off to the corner and talk trash. You know the drill. Forget them. You don’t need losers in your life.
Live your life, lead by example, send cards at holiday and add a few photos of you partying and having a great time. Your warm smile and sunny attitude just might be the heat needed to melt the block of ice that holds their hearts.
OTHERWISE, what are your choices? How many times have you made the effort to resolve your differences? After a few sleepless nights, I suggest that you read the handwriting on the wall. Make a decision that suits you because in the end you have everything to gain; peace of mind.
YOUR life is worth living to its fullest. For those who want to join you, let them climb aboard! For those that don’t? Keep it simple. No thanks! Remember, you’re not paid to be their therapist or to put up with their B.S. Walk away with confidence that you tried and accept that you can’t fix everything.
Time does heal all wounds, they say. So, pray for them, hope they’re well, and you never know. One day, you just might get a call from that friend or relative that shunned you, asking if they can meet you for coffee, or can they talk on the phone with you. “Sure, what’s up?” Then, let them do ALL the talking. Don’t say a word. Let them get it all out until they say, “Well, what do you think? Can you forgive me/us? Can we make amends and heal our relationship?” Your reply might be, ‘Sure, on one condition that you don’t repeat the behavior. I want to trust you and you will have to earn it back. I deserve your respect. Are we clear on this?”
In the meantime, speak calmly, but with a clarity and honesty that cannot be misconstrued. You’ve opened the door for more dialogue and a potentially harmonious future.
“IF you don’t have my books yet, or the audio version of them to soak in all this knowledge into your life, then you’re missing out on A LOT! You owe it to yourself to acquire this knowledge! I know I wouldn't live my life without it, and neither should you! Contact me if you have any questions about my books/audio.” — Bart Smith, Author
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- Mean, Nasty & Jealous Exes & Their B.S. - October 31, 2015
- Unhappy With The One You’re With? - October 31, 2015
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