What To Look For In A Potential Life & Soul Mate

BY BART SMITH, AUTHOR OF B.S. THE BOOK

When it comes to finding your soulmate, or even helping you and your soulmate become all that you can be together, here's what to look for and become …

Trust – Both of you should trust each other implicitly with your lives. You really should. Trust is the foundation of any happy and loving relationship. Trust her as she trusts you.

Loyalty and commitment – Trust is built on a foundation of loyalty and commitment between the two partners. Some people seem to get married with the concept that, "If I don’t like it, I’ll sleep around or get divorced." This is a recipe for disaster in any marriage. Marriage is about commitment to the one person you’re absolutely, no question about, deeply in love with. Your heart should flutter (with love and sheer joy) when you hear their name called or just the sound of their voice …

Other wonderful qualities include: compatibility, chemistry, commitment, communication, comfort, caring attitudes, giving attitudes, flexibility, willingness to listen, desire for romance, absolutely honesty, open channels of communication, faithful, sense of humor, confidentiality, trusting, supportive, dedicated, spontaneity, independent while dependent … can you think of any more?

Also, it is also important to have these down too when you marry. I call them the 5 "Ly’s" (pronounced: "lees") They are:

(1) You should be emotionally ready. Have you experienced enough of life and love to know who YOU really are? Or WHAT you REALLY want out of life for yourself and for your mate? I love the idea of "taking my time" to find that special someone, that Mrs. Right. I want to learn the lessons of what I like and what I don’t like about me and her. What I need and what I don’t need. What turns me off, what turns me on. You see, you can find this out the hard way – get married, do not do any homework on yourself on the other person, take your chances, and see how much time and money and embarrassment you incur when you don’t try the latter. This is easily found out by waiting, watching, learning, growing as an adult as a human being. Itching to "have kids" or "find security" are all the more reasons to continue reading my list of "Ly’s"…So, please continue.

(2) You should be financially ready. Weddings are expensive and you deserve the best one in town. Sure the parents might pay for it, but don’t you have any pride and wish to contribute anything to the bill? It is your wedding after all! Children, if you plan to have them or have them now, require much in the financial area. Take care of yourself and your children; plan and prepare for them. Financial worries and stress can take all the fun out of having children and your new family. Prepare financially for this event and the events of your children through further education, job advancement, perhaps a job period to begin with. Either way, plan ahead financially.

(3) You should be physically ready. Both of you should be as vibrant and as healthy as possible. At that stage of your life, when you "hook up" with someone (hopefully for the rest of your life), you want to "be there" and "give your all" to them and to do this you must be physically at your best! This includes your health, body and even the mind. Healthy bodies make for healthy marriages. Who wants to be sick and always away from someone they love! Not me! I want to be available ALL THE TIME to the one I love. My health is a top priority, I shall never "not" be by her side. I also wish that her health be vibrant, full of sunshine and life! Living is what we’re doing on this planet – so let’s think life – think health! Together, we can help one another. We can approach this area together – work out together, run together, swim together, sweat together, shower together! Live life (passionately) together!

(4) One should also consider geography and be geographically ready. I know that one was a stretch (word-wise) but it’s true. Follow me here for a minute. If my job takes me far away from the one I love (for numerous, extended periods of time), how can I love at all? Think twice, for sure. Distance does not always make the heart grow fonder – it does when the trips are "brief." But as the other saying goes, "out of site, out of mind!" Super-extended periods of time away does not fair great for two romantics in love and who may have just gotten married to "be together" anyway. Keep close to home as often as possible, or travel together if you can. Shucks, that’s why you got together in the first place – to get close – not to move away.

(5) Lastly, and this is ultimately the highest of priorities, the two of you should be spiritually ready. If you’re not ready at the time, that’s okay. It will grow on you. Beyond geography, emotion and money, even physical importance, I truly believe it is important for the two of you be able to "connect" on a spiritual level. I might also refer to it as a "soul connection." Spirituality and togetherness transcends all that exists on this frail earth of ours. I mean if my loved one was physically injured or experiencing a financial setback of some kind (i.e. lost their job, etc.) our spiritual connection can and will pull us through almost the worst of times! Spirituality can be attained perhaps through a church you both attend our through other religious studies and interests you may share together!

Enlightenment, when shared with your partner, can be one of the greatest connections ever achieved between the two of you on up and beyond physical connections. And, by the way, when you connect to that special someone (physically) you can look in their eyes and also achieve certain/select elements of spiritual connections as well. That is very cool. In fact, you might spiritualize every time you physically connect.

When you connect to that higher source of living energy and power, the two of you truly become that one force of love, life and longevity. Seek that power within yourselves – the two of you. Nurture it, cultivate it, feed it, live through it, together, till death do you part.

Now, the greatest thing about all what I’ve said here is that you can apply bits and pieces of what I think in with your own situation whether you’re just married, have been married for some time or our about to married or looking for marriage one day.

*Also, there are the SIX STEPS to preparing for a great marriage. Both of you should be ready in all these categories. Discuss them openly! Ask each other, "are you …"

• EMOTIONALLY ready for marriage, children and living life together forever! Marriage is a very emotional relationship with it’s ups and downs!

• FINANCIALLY ready to support yourselves with preparation always for emergency expenses that pop up without notice! They do, and when you least expect them.

• SPIRITUALLY ready to share each other’s life …whether you have God, Buddha, your Heavenly Maker, or whatever you find in common. Spiritually, you two should be grounded and have in common something the same!

• MENTALLY ready to move forward towards family and occupational success. Are you both mentally MATURE or do either of you still act like young, immature and inexperienced adults.

• GEOGRAPHICALLY ready to live in your home country or a foreign country where things are not so familiar.

• PHYSICALLY ready … Does anybody have any (life-threatening) illness, where the minute you marry, one of you gets sick and is in the hospital for like 20 years!!! I mean, if your mate has a major handicap or an existing debilitating disease that would prevent you from growing the relationship into what you dreamed it could become … Just be cautious. Find yourself a strong, HEALTHY mate to marry!