Resolving Conflict Between Couples

BY BART SMITH, AUTHOR OF B.S. THE BOOK

Every now and then, if or when you and yours find yourselves squabbling about something/anything? Here's what to do to help resolve conflicts, which might arise between the two of you …

• Nothing helps resolve conflict more than: Desire, patience, understanding, time and communication. Let the other person speak all they want. Let them fully communicate their thoughts.
• Be slow to judge; slow to anger. Show you understand. Learn to figure out the other party’s perspective. Seek to understand before you seek to be understood.
• Be sensitive enough toward the other person in a relationship to quickly see danger signals which can threaten the relationship.
• Anything "uncontrolled" in a relationship can ultimately be harmful to that relationship, especially, uncontrolled ambition, uncontrolled anger, uncontrolled behavior, uncontrolled drinking, uncontrolled jealousies, uncontrolled lust, uncontrolled rage, uncontrolled smoking, uncontrolled spending, uncontrolled tempers …

The greatest destroyer of many relationships is an uncontrolled tongue! The tongue is a small thing, but what enormous damage it can do! A great forest can be set on fire by one tiny spark. Self control means controlling the tongue.

• Think before you speak; it costs you nothing and yet can save everything you’ve built up ’til this point.
• Speaking before you think can cost you everything!
• Put your mind in gear before your mouth in gear.
• You will have to live with the consequences of everything you say.
• Speak only the truth. Speak only from an honest heart. Those who hold back truth cause trouble sometimes soon, sometimes later, down the road.
• Dishonesty destroys relationships. Fear destroys relationships.
• Honest answers are signs of long-lasting relationships.
• Thoughtless words can wound as deeply as any sword.
• Like a mother’s touch, wisely spoken words heal everything they touch.
• Gentle words cause life and health.
• Words of encouragement do wonders every time.
• It takes work to control your tongue, but it’s worth it.
• It takes more work to undo the damage done when you don’t control your tongue.
• Words have power to heal or to destroy. Again, watch what you say. In some cases, it can be used against you (in a court of law). Not nice.
• Guard your lips from telling lies and spreading gossip. Shame on you for such B.S.
• What comes out eventually represents the heart. Whatever’s inside will eventually come out; good or bad.
• Intelligent people think before they speak – what they say then is more persuasive.

So, remember the old adage, if you haven’t anything nice to say – don’t say it at all! Better yet, before you speak ask yourself, is what you’re about to say:

Truthful, honest, inspirational, informative, motivational, helpful, necessary, kind …If what you say is none of these, don’t even bother opening your mouth!